In the United States, the average millennial relationship lasts about four years. In the United Kingdom, we’re looking at closer to three years.
Whichever way you look at it, you’ll come down to one conclusion: Falling in love is easy, staying in love is tough. And when love dries up, the end of a relationship is inevitable.
Sure, the odds are stacked against new couples, but no two relationships are the same. There is absolutely no reason why you can’t prove the naysayers wrong and go all the way with your partner.
You could drift away, fall out of love even, along the way. That’s normal. The best part is we are here to tell you how to fall back in love.
1. Go Back to Where It All Began
Falling in love with a new person is like starting a journey to a new destination – and without a navigation map! What would you do if you felt lost hundreds of miles in?
Some people will keep going, keep trusting their instincts, keep believing the destination is a few bends ahead. This could work, but the odds aren’t great. The best thing is to trace your way back to the starting part and work out a new route, right?
Love works in a similar way. You set off on a relationship journey with your partner, take new routes together, abandon old habits, develop a new character… By the time you realize you’re no longer in love, you’re an entirely new person.
This is why you need to go back to where it all began; reconnect with the person you were when you met your partner.
In reconnecting with your old self, though, keep in mind every being grows and evolves. You could have gained new, positive traits, which you should keep. It’s the negative bits, or the ones your partner doesn’t like, you should toss out.
2. Involve Your Partner
In their book, “Do I to Give Up Me to Be Loved By You” authors Jordan and Margret Paul explore the importance of absolute honesty in a relationship. They note that you have to be truthful to your partners about what you’re thinking and feeling.
This is a valuable lesson when falling back in love.
Be straight with your partner about your feelings. Perhaps, according to them, the love boat is on steady waters, and it’s just you who has stopped rowing.
Tell them you’re falling out of love, as well as what you’re doing to fall back in love. Though there is a real risk your partner could fell let down and unwanted, it’s better to be on the same page than to stay in a bubble that will surely burst.
Let him or her know it’s not their fault. They could offer to help you in your quest to fall in love again.
3. Balance Work and Life
Work has a sneaky tendency to get in the way of relationships, and for valid reasons.
The economy is showing little signs of easing up and the vast majority of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. We have to honor our grinds or risk losing our livelihoods. And there is that no romance without finance thing.
It, therefore, makes sense when couples focus on chasing money and give little priority to their relationships. The law of unintended consequences dutifully kicks in, so one or both of you fall out of love.
Striking a healthy balance between work and life could be all you need to light up love in your relationship. Stop taking work home, and if you work from home, create and adhere to a strict timeline. If you’re to work from 10 in the morning to 4 in the evening, close shop at 4, even when there is more work to be done or more money to be made.
4. Leverage the Power of Books
Reading is much more powerful than increasing literacy.
Reading can change your life. It can open up your mind to new ideas in a way nothing else can. It can expand your horizons, soften your heart, harden your resolve, make you wiser long before you grow grey hair. Reading can help you get to know your partner better.
If you already aren’t a books aficionado, it’s time to warm up to them. There are literally thousands of books on love and relationships that can set you up for relationship success, but you don’t have to read all of them. There are online book review sites that can help you manage your selection.
It’s also vital to ensure your partner is leveraging the power of books. In fact, it’s highly recommended to share your reads, especially if a book explores some issues you’re facing together.
5. Learn New Activities Together
Not many things are as satisfying and enjoyable as learning new things with your partner. The bonding effect is powerful.
Perhaps you and your partner have always wondered how a woman can spin sideways, twirl her body, roll hips, while the man effortless complements her moves in a salsa dance. Well, make this your challenge. Take up a salsa class and let your bodies enjoy a whole new level of communication. It could be a turning point.
Or maybe you both fear vast bodies of water. Why not giving kayaking a try? You will not only confront your personal fears, but also learn how to do things together and come through for each other.
The things is; do new things together.
Now You Know How to Fall Back in Love
The powers of falling in love are well documented. Unfortunately, love is a feeling, and like most feelings, love fades. The goods news is you can learn how to fall back in love and have a fruitful relationship with your partner.
Not all tips outlined above apply to every relationship. You need to try them out and find the ones that work for you.
As you embark on rekindling your lost love and rediscovering intimacy, keep tabs on our blog for more love and life hacks.